Hi to one and all again
As 2008 came to an end, I can honestly say I’ve ended it on a far better note than last year and the year before and I have to admit, that’s meant swallowing a few home truths in the process over the years, both in looking at the behaviour of others and myself; both good and bad.
I believe that everyone has a right to move on, provided they are prepared to accept mistakes they’ve made along the way as well as see and let go of shortcomings of ourselves and of others who, for whatever reason, have decided to let us down or help us look up, regardless of the reasons.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned, especially since taking the bold step of learning new journalistic skills, instead of sitting back and pondering about my future, is that having a future to look forward to offer’s something no money can buy and that’s freedom.
That is, freedom to be the better person we have a right to be; as the mother of Kavian Francis Hopwood, who lost her son due to gun violence, once said to me: “the street corners have nothing to offer when you’re pushing 40. Every day we are getting older, negativity will weigh you down.”
That’s just it, as every year goes by, if we don’t use our skills or learn new ones, we get stuck in the past, when we were someone, rather than face up to the reality that is the here and now.
I admit, it’s been hard for me to learn some of the stuff I’m doing and I’ve wanted to throw in the towel at times.
But I now realise why I enrolled for this course in the first place – to have new challenges in my life and to put myself in the direction I want to be, at least career wise. Pushing yourself can be hard, but it’s said best by the poet John Greenleaf Whittier, in these memorable lines:
“For of all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these, it might have been.”
So rather than lecture about what you already know, I would say here’s a few lessons I’ve learned along the way of my life and I hope they can be of use to you.
• DO PUSH YOURSELF TO ADVANCED SKILL LEVELS.
One of the most famous examples of this is Dame Kelly Holmes. Before her success in the 2004 Olympics, she was known as a good track athlete who many believed was past her best.
That changed when she got gold for the majority of competitions she entered, crushing public doubts about her ability to win under pressure.
That’s because success in this world, especially in really competitive professions, are down to two things; talent and determination and as I’ve learned from my years of seeing many people come and go, without the latter, the former won’t do you any good – the career of Madonna is also a good example of this.
As Muhammad Ali once said: “Champions aren’t made overnight… but the will must be stronger than the skill.” If you have a dream, always keep it in your mind’s eye and take mini-goals to get there one step at a time.
• DO LEVERAGE YOUR STRENGTHS.
Another famous example of this is Matt Damon, who has long been accepted as a talented actor. In 2007 he built on the success of the previous Bourne films to produce the highly successful trilogy The Bourne Ultimatum which solidified his status as one of Hollywood’s most bankable actors.
Note that he didn’t even do a film in 2008 and didn’t need to either.
In other words, don’t get resentful of another person’s ability to hone in and exploit something they are good at.
Like most things in life, it is better to develop present skills that you are moderately good at and get better at it, rather than be stubborn and refuse to accept there are areas in your life that must be developed in order for you to take the next step in your career and life.
Another thing to realise in this category is not to be determined to undermine another person’s talents.
Yes, a friend of yours might have been working at that job, or you may of wanted your friend to get that role but if someone else was appointed, realise that it’s because they were better and learn from them – if you rubbish their abilities at work and in front of them, the only result you’ll demonstrate is that you’re not a good person to work with and we know what that leads to.
• DON’T USE INAPPROPRIATE LANGUAGE AT WORK.
No matter how annoyed you are with someone or how justified you think you are to be vex, or how much you know that you can get away with being rude towards another employee, this is the one thing that always comes back to haunt both the abuser and the company they work for, especially if the situation goes further and is appealed to someone else, be it a higher boss or to an organisation outside the company.
I’ve had to read many cases of people taking their former employer to employment tribunals for unfair dismissal and the one thing that’s an underlying theme in all the cases I’ve covered is the applicant clearly refusing to join in or participate in foul behaviour at the office, whether it’s gossip, sex, drugs, race or politics.
Every employer has a duty of care towards its employees and if bad language of any sort is being used and justifying it towards other friends - which by the way is gossip, especially if one of the people you're talking about is within that group - that’s also a clear case of bullying.
Nobody allows themselves to be bullied - it’s because they have no choice, it’s made clear that either they put up or shut up.
Furthermore no amount of hard work, years or commitment will restore your reputation if you’re seen as rude and crass.
Looking at the legal responsibilities employers now have, if this applies to you, you’re likely to be seen as a liability that needs to be removed.
Furthermore the appellant may end up revealing some embarrassing remarks about what the others at the same workplace are saying about you – don’t be surprised, since you were the one happy to sit back and see someone else get picked on and be the subject of gossip and probably even encouraged it - did you really believe that you weren’t in the firing line too?
• DON’T COMPROMISE YOUR RESPONSIBILITIES.
Sadly there are too many employers and colleagues who are willing to point fingers and let someone else take the blame for wrongdoing, i.e a scapegoat, despite knowing full well that everything has to go through a procedure and that means they had to of been involved too.
There are many executives whose company ends up going bust and refuse to take responsibility for their actions, then go ahead and set up a similar business elsewhere, then wonder why it’s all going wrong again, along with a ban of being a company director for the next five years.
Others get rid of someone that really changed the fortunes of an organisation for the better simply because they don't personally like someone, then wonder why the company’s sales since that person’s departure are going south or start rubbishing everyone else but themselves, which only reinforces the reasons why they get rid of good people and keep the bad ones on.
Another famous example of this but who took steps in correcting things the right way is Oprah Winfrey.
Her school for girls in South Africa was rocked after an abuse scandal.
However the talk-show host accepted overall responsibility for the inadequate employee screening and traveled to the school to meet with parents and address their concerns.
It takes a strong person to accept mistakes and take immediate action to correct and learn from them.
Furthermore by being accountable for the problems, Ms Winfrey was showing everyone the buck stops with her and by avoiding the urge to directly or indirectly blame others, ensured that the problems were solved.
Not surprisingly, people like me admire her more for this.
The bottom line is, if you’re lacking in ethics, you have no place in the world with anyone, whether it be business or personal – that’s why Rupert Murdoch has remained a formidable force in the journalistic and entertainment world – there’s no point in hating him for that!
• DON’T GET PERSONALLY INVOLVED WITH A SUBORDINATE.
This doesn’t just mean the obvious sexual sense, such as sleeping with the boss.
This also involves employers showing a preference to a particular person or type of person, whether it’s light-skinned black men or petite white women or the gorgeous Geordie who only started five months ago and always gets promoted ahead of others who have worked just as hard and have brought in more money and success to the company.
Such behaviour is plain old-fashioned prejudice/favouritism and shows poor judgment – after all, one of the petite woman you like may turn out to be inadequate – are you still going to keep that person on, despite their shortcomings, over employing someone who although you may not like physically or mentally, or even detest, has the ability to do the work?
More to the point, do you think the company is going to survive if that’s the way its run?
Don’t you think that the company will gain a less than impressive reputation if that’s the way it’s structured?
One such case that comes to mind is married CEO Mark Everson of the Red Cross. The organisation said his extra-marital relationship with a subordinate damaged his credibility.
What’s also forgotten is the fact that the affair is likely to have a negative impact on the subordinate’s career too – who’s going to employ a person who’s more known for currying favour than doing their job?
Even if you think the person you're working with is weird, don't make the mistake of allowing personality to get in the way of profit.
• DO STEP OUTSIDE YOUR COMFORT ZONE.
The best examples of this are the performers in both Strictly Come Dancing and X-factor, who bravely go out to the public and perform on what could be their last performance.
Leona Lewis would of stayed being a receptionist if she hadn’t of auditioned for the show and since winning, hasn’t looked back.
Living in your safety zone will make you boring, dull and resentful regarding what could of been your life and when we stop taking risks, we become a shadow of ourselves, never reaching our potential and leading a life of fustration.
Who knows what it may lead to – look at Alesha Dixon now, with a new record deal and busy social life – remember how different it was for her before Strictly Come Dancing?
• DON’T BADMOUTH PEOPLE WHO MIGHT BE GOOD REFERENCES.
Again, there are many examples of a workplace hothead, someone who says exactly what they’re thinking when they’re thinking it, without thinking of the consequences.
Many even do this in front of work experience students, while forgetting that such visitors will tell their friends and so on until it reaches the ears of some very influential people who could be the key towards your next career move.
If you can’t be diplomatic, civil and show respect to your colleagues, looking at the dynamics of the workforce, many employers are going to have reservations about taking you on, no matter how skilled or talented you are.
You are simply a waste of time and space that no employer wants or needs.
There are two publications in the UK, one radio the other is a magazine, aimed at a particular community, that keep making offensive remarks about how top-rated black performers won't do interviews with them.
They fail to realise that most of these top-rated performers are well aware of the culture inside these publications, thanks to friends, Facebook and other social networking sites.
Once they find out how those companies are run, such stars do have a right not to be associated with them - after all, such high achievers have also had to work hard to achieve success beyond their race.
They t00 have fought prejudice to get where they are today - they're not going to be willing to talk to anyone from an organisation that's corrupt and clearly exercises the same type of behaviour that would of prevented them from hitting the big time!
They don't want to be associated with behaviour that would of prevented them from getting to the top - that's why they say no to interviews with anyone from these publications.
Although there are more things that can be said, I hope these help you in gaining a better life - I think this entry is long enough as it is!
Please don’t hesitate to visit my other Internet address: www.andriagreaves.com
Light and Peace
Andria Greaves
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