I have been confirmed as having MS.

It was in October of this year that I had no choice but to accept my diagnosis, after my specialist, Dr Trip, wrote to my GP, Dr Anita Kapoor, that month.

He was kind enough to send me a copy of that letter too.

I had another attack of demylenation disease in September, with severe vertigo, which responded to steroids.

But this means, as Dr Trip had stated, the diagnosis of MS is secure. I really liked being an outdoors person and hoped I could go back to my hobby of jogging.

Personally I doubt I will ever truly know why I’ve been affected with this condition, which has prevented me from living the life I once had and thoroughly enjoyed.

I liked the challenge of working for days without sleep and being reliant on myself to get things done.

I was so proud at what I accomplished in my past, which included starting looking at the pain and misery left in the aftermath of gun and knife crime for the parents, siblings and friends of those who have been shot.

I was pleased that after attending the march for Anton Hyman (with no help, from start to finish, a massive thanks to MacDonalds for use of their toilets) other marches against gun and knife crime were organised and covered by other journalists from all aspects of the media.

I also wanted to have a present and future which included being able to enjoy full optimum health, so for this to happen knocked me sideways.

If I can learn one thing from my health problems, it’s that Multiple Sclerosis respects no one, regardless of status or whether they’re perceived as a role model or a bad girl.

It doesn’t matter how much you look the part, be it a secretary, a journalist or a successful bank manager, there is still one important need we all have.

Everyone wants to live. It’s a natural human instinct.

I still want to achieve things in my life, which includes seizing the day. I liked the challenge of being able to balance several things/issues at once.

Somehow, for a reason beyond my understanding, my brain has made the decided to override this.

Now if I don't write things down, I will forget them.

I don’t want to sit in a chair all day. I still want to do things and that will never change.

So I do hope out of my situation more people will begin to understand the complex issues of MS.

There isn’t anything attractive about MS. It is a horrible, debilitating illness.

In the early days, my parents neighbours used to tell them I was drunk until I started to use a walking stick.

If there is another thing I’ve learned from this is a few home truths. I thought by now I’d be married with kids.

But life isn’t black and white; it has shades of grey.

We Brits have always been able to keep a stiff upper lip, even when we’re clearly being bullied.

One former friend even had the nerve to tell another former close friend of mine that I allowed myself to be bullied at work and the other one immediately accepted this to be true.

It is this insensitive behaviour, along with people not wanting to believe their friends could be so horrible to other people for the heck of it, that kills.

My heart still goes out to Fiona Pilkington, the mother who committed suicide and the death of her disabled daughter Francecca Hardwick, 18, in 2007, who couldn’t take the bullying, harassment and being let down by people who were supposed to protect them but didn’t.

The only thing good to come of this tragedy is that we as people finally accepted others do need to be protected from the dark side of human nature.

Read details of this tragic case by clicking here.

I can assure you, suffers of MS who are not wheelchair bound are not lazy people who need to pull their socks up.

I say this as I get so much abuse, which has included physical, when I’m sitting down in a priority seat on a bus, tube or train.

I have fallen over on the pavements so many times, I now walk in the road as that is a smoother, flatter surface – I assure you, it really hurts when I do fall over.

I also walk in the park, even when it’s dark.

I know it’s dangerous, especially as there are no park wardens in my neck of the woods but again, for the same reason above, I feel I’ve got no choice as I’ve ended up with my face on the pavement far too many times.

What I now require is patience, understanding and time, even when walking.

If you can afford these things, I and many people who are disabled truly thank you.

If you are struggling with balance, co-ordination and concentration as I did in the early stages (and still do) please go and see your GP today.

Hopefully you won't be diagnosed with my condition.

But if you do, whatever happens, don’t forget, you still have the right to be here.

Please note, I'm not bitter. I've accepted I've got to deal with the cards life has sent me.

I still intend on enjoying life and accept I have to do it in a different way, which now includes cutting down on chocolate!

Don't let anything or anyone prevent you from enjoying life.

From the bottom of my heart, to one and all, happy holidays to you and everyone!

Andria

PS, don’t hesitate to view my other site by clicking here.