I LIKED WORK.

When I was told by my doctor that I have to be signed-off from work, due to me having Multiple Sclerosis (MS) it really hurt me, emotionally and psychotically.

You see, what I missed about work is creating a staggery, plans and getting the right people to do the work and delivering the right results to and for the correct people.

That also meant walking 20 minutes to the underground or overground station, the day before work, which was part of my routine. I liked getting up, washed, dressed and travelling to work.

 But now, I can’t write. I’ve learnt how to speak again, thanks to speech therapy but I do still get brain-fog and bladder issues.

When the only work I could get was voluntarily, as a receptionist at the now defunct Brent Association of Disabled People, I took it, gratefully.

I liked reading through documents to get things done. Now, even when reading for pleasure – at the moment,

I‘m reading You With The Sad Eyes, by fellow MS sufferer Christina Applegate, I do so with a magnifying glass.

I liked having the focus and drive to get things done, as well as remaining pleasant to colleagues, as I was also respectful of their needs and space.

I admit, I liked getting things done. When I was given the diagnosis of MS, I knew that my world had collapsed and for many years, I was determined to find out why I had been diagnosed with MS and find a cure.

I’ve since accepted there’s no cure and my need to be in a wheelchair. So please, be kind and nice, to people like me, as they too, had plans, hopes and dreams before getting the same diagnosis as me.

Many of us, at first, do get annoyed because we do through a phrase of saying, to ourselves and others, why me? Accepting this co9ndition isn’t easy.

We also become easy targets of people pretending to be nice but see us as easy targets to rip-off - that’s why many of us get angry.

Unfortunately for many of us, we realise this behaviour from others, is now a part of life, for us. Light and Peace Andria

I fell over – again!

This is so embarrassing and hurtful.

Embarrassing, as it reminds me that my balance and co-ordination skills have gone, which is why I avoid bending for items that have fallen out of my hands.

I also have to accept that my feet drag – my left one is the worst – MS has slowed me down, but it doesn’t have me, which is why I have paid for adjustments to be made at my dwelling.

Not all faculties we need are paid for by the local council.

Hurtful, as I now have a bump on my head, that’s painful, so now I’m having problems with my vision and I’m using an ice cube to get the swelling down.

 Along with fatigue, which is a constant condition, that’s why this entry is short – I have to concentrate on my head!

Light and Peace Andria

WE ARE PEOPLE WITH A LOBATOMY.

There’s nothing we can do about it. This I hope, explains why we loose skills we once had, such as walking, writing and, in my case, touch and audio typing. So when it comes to housing costs, that’s why we do need certain items, such as new wheels for our wheelchairs, Zimmer-frames and scooters. This also includes certain flooring. I assure you, there’s no fun in kissing the floor because we’ve fallen over, especially when there’s an object like a desk or chair in front of you. This usually happens because of foot dragging, which we cannot stop. To give you more detail, Multiple Sclerosis means that I’ve got holes in my brain, which is why I compare what is happenoing to me, to being lobatmised. It’s why I also cannot write or work anymore. I also buy books aimed at children who need help with speaking, as there’s only a certain number of classes I’ll get, regarding speech therapy. I appreciate that adults are concerned when they see me in the children’s section of a library, but I assure you, it’s because I want to look at the books that help with speech. It also hurts that I’ve lost my savings but I have to get things immediately to live with my condition, which is why, along with loosing other enjoyments I used to do, such as going to the theatre or opera, I have no choice but to claim Universal Credit (UC). So please don’t be rude to us, or use the disabled toilets, as we have no choice but do this. I have to wear adult nappies, when I’m outside my dwelling. To get the nice ones that look like everyday underwear, I have and do, pay privately for them, from my benefits. So please cut us some slack, life for us isn’t black and white but shades of grey, without the excitement of the 50 shades novel. Light and Peace Andria.