We all have a past.

No-one is perfect and that includes people who are disabled.

Some of us are very angry that we’ve got this illness of Multiple Sclerosis (MS), even if we aren’t in a wheelchair.

I admit, if I had a choice, I wouldn’t have MS. But I’ve grown to accept my condition.

We’ve all made choices that maybe weren’t the best. I was happy to put behind me, my days of being a career woman. 

I liked having an administrative nine to five office job, when I got this illness and it changed the direction of my life, which is why, at first, I found it hard to accept.

None of us are completely innocent, as it’s still not known why a person gets MS. We will always have to live with physical and emotional pain that comes with this.

Believe me, I’ve looked, hoping that I would find a cure. I’ve accepted I won’t find one. I still have days when I’m frustrated that I can’t get up and go for walk.

However, every day gives us a fresh chance to be a better person than yesterday.

So please get washed, change clothing, get a manicure and Carpe that Diem, regardless of the nay-sayers who’ll do what they can to steal our joy away from us!

Light and Peace

Andria.

I WANT TO ENJOY LIFE!

 

I’m aware that people who read this, tend to think my life is about doom and gloom.

Please realise it’s also about enjoying life to the best too.

That’s why we need the money we get. We do need help in the form of other people washing ourselves.

Even if we don’t need that kind of help, when, like me, you’re at stage two of MS, you do still need help, regarding flooring, toilet and bathroom aids.

This ranges from getting internal and external mats, railings, special underwear (okay, adult nappy's) and special products to clean 9 intimate areas of the human body.

All of which, are pricey and have to be replaced, along with getting other medical products for internal use, I assure you, despite having to deal with these issues every day, I do still decide that I still want to enjoy life, so I’m going to say this:

I WISH ALL OF YOU MOMENMTS OF PEACE AND HAPPINESS IN YOUR DAY. YOU DESERVE WONDERFUL THINGS.

 

Light and Peace

 

Andria.

Why people with long-term health issues do need a Care Plan.

It’s easy to think that sticking us in a building is okay and that’s all we need.

Well unfortunately, fatigue, lack of balance and co-ordination, which gets worse for me during the day and our bodies turning hot for no reason, which means I’m sweating in my clothing, then go cold for no reason, says something else.

This is the case in cleaning anything, from washing a plate, to cleaning my room and the rest of my dwellings.

I pay for a housekeeper, which isn’t cheap but she is someone I can trust and does a wonderful job.

I don’t insist that she wears a housekeeping outfit. I’m just very grateful that she makes my place well-loved, cared for and hospitable.

This includes tidying up my bedroom and changing bed sheets. I’m grateful for this. Before my housekeeper, I would look at my dwelling and cried. Not just because of the mess but because of the frustration of not being able to do it myself, as I did before having Multiple Sclerosis (MS).

There’s no point in moaning to myself, ‘why is this so hard for me?’ as I’ve accepted that my cry will only be answered by getting a housekeeper that I know who’ll not steal from me.

We don’t like asking, as I, like many who have a long-term health condition, affecting the central nervous system, want to se seen as strong, independent and capable.

But our health says to us, NO, IT’S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN AND I WON’T LET YOU DO THIS!

We smile and remember to be friendly, even when we know that those same people that we are being nice to, are talking about us, in a nasty way, behind our backs or have an ulterior motive, when asking us questions in a friendly way and manner.

My condition is only going to get worse. I’m not being weak-willed. I don’t bite. I’m human and I’m stll capable of turn up for meetings. That’s got to count for something!

Light and Peace

Andria.

I LIKED WORK.

When I was told by my doctor that I have to be signed-off from work, due to me having Multiple Sclerosis (MS) it really hurt me, emotionally and psychotically.

You see, what I missed about work is creating a staggery, plans and getting the right people to do the work and delivering the right results to and for the correct people.

That also meant walking 20 minutes to the underground or overground station, the day before work, which was part of my routine. I liked getting up, washed, dressed and travelling to work.

 But now, I can’t write. I’ve learnt how to speak again, thanks to speech therapy but I do still get brain-fog and bladder issues.

When the only work I could get was voluntarily, as a receptionist at the now defunct Brent Association of Disabled People, I took it, gratefully.

I liked reading through documents to get things done. Now, even when reading for pleasure – at the moment,

I‘m reading You With The Sad Eyes, by fellow MS sufferer Christina Applegate, I do so with a magnifying glass.

I liked having the focus and drive to get things done, as well as remaining pleasant to colleagues, as I was also respectful of their needs and space.

I admit, I liked getting things done. When I was given the diagnosis of MS, I knew that my world had collapsed and for many years, I was determined to find out why I had been diagnosed with MS and find a cure.

I’ve since accepted there’s no cure and my need to be in a wheelchair. So please, be kind and nice, to people like me, as they too, had plans, hopes and dreams before getting the same diagnosis as me.

Many of us, at first, do get annoyed because we do through a phrase of saying, to ourselves and others, why me? Accepting this co9ndition isn’t easy.

We also become easy targets of people pretending to be nice but see us as easy targets to rip-off - that’s why many of us get angry.

Unfortunately for many of us, we realise this behaviour from others, is now a part of life, for us. Light and Peace Andria

I fell over – again!

This is so embarrassing and hurtful.

Embarrassing, as it reminds me that my balance and co-ordination skills have gone, which is why I avoid bending for items that have fallen out of my hands.

I also have to accept that my feet drag – my left one is the worst – MS has slowed me down, but it doesn’t have me, which is why I have paid for adjustments to be made at my dwelling.

Not all faculties we need are paid for by the local council.

Hurtful, as I now have a bump on my head, that’s painful, so now I’m having problems with my vision and I’m using an ice cube to get the swelling down.

 Along with fatigue, which is a constant condition, that’s why this entry is short – I have to concentrate on my head!

Light and Peace Andria

WE ARE PEOPLE WITH A LOBATOMY.

There’s nothing we can do about it. This I hope, explains why we loose skills we once had, such as walking, writing and, in my case, touch and audio typing. So when it comes to housing costs, that’s why we do need certain items, such as new wheels for our wheelchairs, Zimmer-frames and scooters. This also includes certain flooring. I assure you, there’s no fun in kissing the floor because we’ve fallen over, especially when there’s an object like a desk or chair in front of you. This usually happens because of foot dragging, which we cannot stop. To give you more detail, Multiple Sclerosis means that I’ve got holes in my brain, which is why I compare what is happenoing to me, to being lobatmised. It’s why I also cannot write or work anymore. I also buy books aimed at children who need help with speaking, as there’s only a certain number of classes I’ll get, regarding speech therapy. I appreciate that adults are concerned when they see me in the children’s section of a library, but I assure you, it’s because I want to look at the books that help with speech. It also hurts that I’ve lost my savings but I have to get things immediately to live with my condition, which is why, along with loosing other enjoyments I used to do, such as going to the theatre or opera, I have no choice but to claim Universal Credit (UC). So please don’t be rude to us, or use the disabled toilets, as we have no choice but do this. I have to wear adult nappies, when I’m outside my dwelling. To get the nice ones that look like everyday underwear, I have and do, pay privately for them, from my benefits. So please cut us some slack, life for us isn’t black and white but shades of grey, without the excitement of the 50 shades novel. Light and Peace Andria.

Do not let, what you cannot do, interfere with what you CAN do.

I’ve been reminded this, when I went to open the front door, of where I reside.

 

I had a hard time getting to the door but I made it. It was embarrassing for me, as I was in nighttime clothing, in the afternoon.

 

But now I’m glad to say, I did it. Okay I don’t look good but with fatigue being a major factor of MS for me, I’m glad I was able to do this.

 

So to all people with MS, please take pride of what we CAN do!

 

Light and Peace

 

Andria.